Spending time with God

This is a journal entry I wanted to blog, from last week.

Today I caught myself focusing on how bad I feel when Ayden prefers spending time with someone else. Destructive thought process if I were to dwell on it, however, it brought forth an incredibly valid point in my heart: How does God feel when I prefer spending time with facebook, etc? At the least, 10,000x worse than I feel when my son chooses something over me.

WOW.

So, what do I need to do differently in my life? Obviously something. I so look forward to spending time ALONE when Ayden goes to sleep, that I often get absorbed in pointless things (because they take no effort). Problem with that is, I'm not coming out of those 'breaks' refreshed. There's still something missing, rather, Someone. It is incredibly hard for me to be still, I've used as a coping mechanism 'keeping busy' for the longest time.

I want to set an example for my son, NOW. I want to show him the importance of placing God ahead of ALL earthly things, always. I've decided to force myself every night, before I do ANYTHING else, to spend 30 minutes in silence with my Savior. It's a work in progress, I usually look at my clock a few times to see how long it's been because I'm so anxious to DO something. Some nights I don't even do it. However, I'm praying that this will become so natural for me that I can't not do it. I need someone to keep my accountable!

struggles (vent-post)

My son is 17 months old, and in all honesty.. this is a very difficult age for me. I find myself often just wanting to say, "Seriously Ayden, again?!" I really hate feeling that way.

I hear from the majority of my friends that their children also went through the worst of the 'terrible twos' around this age, so that's comforting! However, usually by the time my husband walks through the door, I am BEYOND. ready. for. his. help!

In this season especially, I can't help but wonder how God feels when we rebel toward Him..

I've been challenged to examine my life and ask myself what things I may be doing/saying/thinking that don't please my Heavenly Father. Guess what, folks? I'm very human. I have a list!

I want to lead my children by example. I don't want to be a hypocrite. I want them to see God's light in me through every season of their life's. And most importantly, I want them to know that they are unconditionally loved by their Heavenly Father, and their parents here on earth!

that's the way to momma's heart..

Ayden is intentionally showing his love for us, like crazy these days!

This morning we were on our way out the door for a playdate, and Ayden was just SO thrilled that we were getting to go somewhere! He was talking up a storm when I told him where we were headed, then he started kissing me over & over & OVER again! I probably got 10 kisses (at least) in less than a minute. I couldn't stop smiling!

This is what I live for, moments like these.