Spending time with God

This is a journal entry I wanted to blog, from last week.

Today I caught myself focusing on how bad I feel when Ayden prefers spending time with someone else. Destructive thought process if I were to dwell on it, however, it brought forth an incredibly valid point in my heart: How does God feel when I prefer spending time with facebook, etc? At the least, 10,000x worse than I feel when my son chooses something over me.

WOW.

So, what do I need to do differently in my life? Obviously something. I so look forward to spending time ALONE when Ayden goes to sleep, that I often get absorbed in pointless things (because they take no effort). Problem with that is, I'm not coming out of those 'breaks' refreshed. There's still something missing, rather, Someone. It is incredibly hard for me to be still, I've used as a coping mechanism 'keeping busy' for the longest time.

I want to set an example for my son, NOW. I want to show him the importance of placing God ahead of ALL earthly things, always. I've decided to force myself every night, before I do ANYTHING else, to spend 30 minutes in silence with my Savior. It's a work in progress, I usually look at my clock a few times to see how long it's been because I'm so anxious to DO something. Some nights I don't even do it. However, I'm praying that this will become so natural for me that I can't not do it. I need someone to keep my accountable!